Opinions are more than controversial. You either choose to offer them, impose them or refuse to reveal them. All of which are most likely determined by your personality. Those who don’t hesitate to say what they think may be unable to understand why people sit on the fence; seemingly refusing to defend themselves. Whereas those who seek not to take part in conflicts, take sides, say things in spontaneous moments of life, think that sitting on the fence is exactly what they are entitled to do. I honestly can’t really categorise myself into either. Maybe you could say that I am ironically ‘sitting on the fence’ in this blog post but… I don’t consider this to be right.
There was a time when I was much quieter and didn’t often say what I thought because life just seemed easier that way. I allowed someone to take away my confidence, hurt me with comments and leave me feeling isolated. However, contrary of what you may think,it wasn’t the school bully that made me feel this way… It was someone I considered to be a friend. A few years ago I sat on the fence. I wouldn’t offer my opinion during arguments in fear that I would suddenly become everyone’s target to shout at. I didn’t stand up for myself and tried to block everything out. The saying “ignorance is bliss” fitted wholeheartedly into my life as I tried to deny that I was miserable. However, there came a point of realisation. I realised that this person I called a ‘friend’ wasn’t really a friend at all. Whilst I was sat at school crying over what they had said to me, they were growing in confidence, embracing the power they had over me. Thankfully, the day came when I offered my opinion and broke away from the shy girl that they had made me become. So now when we see each other in the corridor we look the other way. We speak to each other only if we have to. We coexist not as friends or classmates but as humans who understand that conflict cannot go on forever. After all, isn’t life too short?
Now I’ll cut the story short. The day I realised that I hadn’t been standing up for myself was the day that I finally noticed what everyone else had been saying to me for years. I’d been oblivious to everything. In actual fact the only time I’d offered my opinion was to defend this person and say they were misunderstood. They weren’t misunderstood. They were mean and the taunting was relentless. I would laugh it off at school because that’s what your told to do but there’s only so much you can take. It felt great to eventually offer my opinions. To take a stand and not be seen as such a pushover.
However, now I fear that I am too willing to offer these opinions. I don’t impose them upon people but sometimes I find myself offering them without hesitation. I want to find a balance. To sit on the fence when it’s not worth it to say anything and to say something when necessary and only when necessary. Opinions are important. They can change the way in which you are perceived. They can change lives entirely.
What do you think about sharing your opinions? Let me know in the comments.
Until next time keep dreaming x