Sometimes I feel like my life has an ‘in-progress’ sign permanently glued to it. I start lots of new things and then something else comes along, resulting in another unfinished project soon to be forgotten.
I started uni, and seemed to just forget about everything I’d worked so hard to keep up with over the summer, and this past year. My unpublished posts, book and journal entries are just a few so-called ‘drafts’ that I’ve absent-mindedly neglected.
Do you want to know what I’m currently ashamed of?
I’m ashamed of calling myself an aspiring author when I haven’t contributed anything to my book in an entire month, possibly slightly longer.That’s a whole 28 days of me being a writer in denial, who would much rather stare at a blank wall than turn my laptop on and get to work. The truth is, I want to feel accomplished, to feel proud that I managed to achieve something that once seemed so impossible, but I just feel so uninspired at the moment. I blame this new change in my life, as it pre-occupies so much of my time, filling my head with reading lists and assignments yet to be complete. However, I don’t want it to take away the creativity I once used to define me as a person. I’m supposed to be studying creative writing not shying away from it!
Now that I’ve managed to write all of that down I feel a sense of relief. I don’t want to just ‘aspire’ to be an author, I want to enjoy the process of being an unpublished writer as well. I want to appreciate this time in my life, when I have complete creative freedom over everything I create.
Until next time keep dreaming x