So, as the title so aptly suggests, writing has been both good and bad lately. I have surpassed 12,000 words for my current project, which in actual fact is more like 18,000 considering the sheer amount I’ve written on my Werdsmith app. Up until yesterday, I was feeling optimistic, then writers block struck, and I was left feeling defeated once again. Let’s just say that’s when regret, or what I’d like to call ‘writer’s remorse’ settled in.
As some of you may know, I was writing a book for years, a project accumulating 56,000 words in total. It was the story that my 16 year old self adored and in my desire to have others read it, I began to realise that being an author really would be the dream job. Without that story, my all consuming passion for writing wouldn’t have came into fruition, and let’s be honest, neither would this blog.
In 2015 I finally had chance to take part in NaNoWriMo…which I failed. Nevertheless it gave me a chance to focus on one of the stories I’d documented as a ‘possible project’. It was difficult leaving behind a project that had meant so much, but I knew that I needed to leave it behind. I guess sometimes you just need to clear your mind and start afresh.
So, I took a leap of faith, started the new project and fell in love with the idea of seeing the paper copy in my hand…yet again. However, as my mind likes to regularly remind me, writing is hard and initial drafts are clearly my nemesis. In my excitement to start writing, I’d failed to create a plan, something which I often seemed to rely on. As a result, when I turned my laptop on, I was left staring at a word document that seemed to mock me as time ticked by. Where is this story going? I thought. How can I make it more interesting? …What should I write next? After wasting a considerable amount of time, I shut down my laptop and did something all successful writers encourage…read. What did I read? Golden Son by Pierce Brown.
Now as most of you may know, Golden Son is the second book in the Red Rising trilogy by Pierce Brown, which could be considered a dystopian along many other things. Why is this relevant? The story, the one in which I had chose to abandon, was a dystopian. It’s even my favourite genre to read. However, despite my love of the genre, and the story, I still wasn’t able to maintain my focus and keep writing. That’s when I started to feel regretful about leaving that project behind. That’s when writing became more complicated than I’d ever expected it to be.
Despite feeling regretful for abandoning the story that had once meant so much, I now feel optimistic about my writing once again. I’ve regained focus, started creating a plan and have even began to write regularly. Sometimes I know what’s going to happen next in the plot, and other times I enjoy the spontaneity of writing organically. I guess the important thing is that I’m finally writing once again and not just thinking, or blogging about it.
Writing is hard. Sometimes, no matter how much we want to see the story unfold upon the page, our mind won’t give us the power to write it down. Don’t let this discourage you. Without this struggle, we wouldn’t reap the full rewards of having a good writing day.
Do you have a writing update you’d like to share? Let me know in the comments.
Until next time keep dreaming x