I didn’t plan to write this, just like most of my other posts. However, I do know what I want to share now that I’m typing away. This is important and so are you.
Today is ‘suicide prevention day‘. You may decide that this post doesn’t refer to you and simply click away. Please don’t. This day isn’t just for those suffering in silence, it’s also for those who can help take some of that suffering away. We all need to unite and prove that everyone, even if you don’t believe it, is worthwhile.
Over the past few years I’ve struggled quite a lot with anxiety. It surprised me at the age of seventeen when I was just about to figure out what to do with my future and the scary world of adulthood. The timing couldn’t have been worse and I was unprepared and unable to figure out how to help myself. I felt more lost that I’d even like to admit now. I felt like things would never get better, even if they eventually did.
Last year, I started a writing project called ‘nobody special’. It wasn’t about me and it never will be, but the words and the sentiment are all mine. So, in order to shed some light on this day, I’m going to share some unedited snippets of my manuscript. After all, this post is about those who are too afraid to seek help. It’s for those who sometimes feel worthless, like a lost cause that will just be forgotten anyway. It’s for the people that are overwhelmed by what society deems normal, when they’re dealing with an illness that seems anything but. Just remember, if this doesn’t apply to you, or someone you know, it does affect a stranger that deserves the same amount of support.
Nobody special is a writing project that I feel emotionally attached to and one that I hope to someday finish. My main character Kate suffers with mental illness and learns to deal with the aftermath of a failed suicide attempt. I hope that my imperfect words can makes a difference someday. Until then, here are some unedited glimpses that I feel are appropriate for this post.
“Sometimes I lay in bed thinking what the hell am I doing with my life. Then I remember the most important thing. It’s the only thing that will ever be entirely mine. I wouldn’t treat my favourite book the way that I’ve treated this life. I guess I just need to be more careful when I turn the pages next time. Sometimes, when we try to skip to the ending, we forget to appreciate the story in the middle. Maybe if I remember to take all of the words in, then I won’t break the spine, or in more literal terms, myself.”
“Recovery is a process, one that can take just as long to achieve as fail. But that shouldn’t matter when moving forward is what does. A few good days are better than all bad. A few tears can break your smile for a moment, but it doesn’t mean it will be lost for a lifetime. Emotions are supposed to be felt, not feared. After all, what is a life without them?”
I hope that this post served its purpose by spreading awareness about this important day. It wasn’t planned, or edited to perfection, but it’s honest and heartfelt.
You are important.
Until next time keep dreaming x