Recently found this post in my drafts and realised that it was months old, a little unfinished and most definitely something I wanted to share.
This is the product of my all consuming thoughts, enjoy. 🙂
Growing up. Changing. Making new decisions. Learning to be independent. Learning to motivate, but not pressure oneself. Growing as a person. Changing organically. Learning some more.
The words, or phrase-like things above, are what this post is about. I’m twenty this year, which although my birthday isn’t till December, is still a very daunting, yet exciting prospect. Twenty marks the end of my teen years. The years which enabled me to make friends for life, and shape me into the person I am now. I’ve laughed till my stomach hurt and cried endless tears, but don’t we all? If my teen years (so far) have taught me anything, it’s that I’m stronger than I thought I ever could be. No amount of worrying will ever be able to make me feel as lost as I once did. A little bit of bad luck, or a single bad day, won’t mean that my four lead clover, or lucky penny, isn’t waiting to be found. Basically, teenage years are difficult, but they shouldn’t be discouraging. Some friends are supposed to be for life and some aren’t, but that doesn’t have to be a negative thing. Everything happens for a reason, and even though that can be a hard concept to accept, I promise it will be better when you do.
I’m growing up and it scares the hell out of me. Yet, as I submit another university assignment, check of the months till my first year is over, I feel more ready for the future than ever. However, I also know that feeling ready to be a career driven adult is currently a much more hypothetical ideal, even for a dreamer like myself. I still need to learn a lot, and find a balance between being driven and being realistic. I once thought that having a career plan was easier than not having one, something which I no longer believe.
Sometimes, or should I say most of the time, you don’t realise that you’re changing until you already have. That happened to me. I was once a less confident version of myself, who was so afraid of people disagreeing with me, that I preferred to pretend like I didn’t have an opinion at all. In my case, change was most definitely a good thing. However, I believe it is most useful when it occurs gradually, and in reason. I’m still the same person I was, just a different version who is stronger, and more self-assured than she was before.
Now, the most important process, the one that never stops, is learning new things. I used to think that school and education was only preparing me for my next exam, but now I realise how wrong I was. It was teaching me how to socialise, reason, and survive the crazy embarrassing years that are your teens. As I look back, I’m grateful for those days and the ones that are yet to come at uni.
I hope you enjoyed this post. If you can relate, or just feel like having a little chat, please comment below.
Until next time keep dreaming x