I smiled for a photo, just as I have so many times before, but this time it was different. I wasn’t just smiling for the sake of it. I was smiling because I was genuinely happy. I am happy. Happier than I’ve been in years. Happier than I thought I could be.
Looking back, the past few years have been difficult for me. More difficult than I would even like to admit now. I was in denial for a long time about my anxiety. I preferred to ignore it, and stay in a bubble that I could control. However, I didn’t realise that the bubble that I had created to protect me, was suffocating me. It was making the days feel longer, and worst of all, i was unaware of why. So, I continued to avoid seeing friends and sleeping for hours during the day. I continued to make myself miserable in the hope that one day, I wouldn’t wake up with a feeling of dread. I even hoped that my problems would fix themselves, until I realised that only I had the power to do so.
If this year has taught me anything, it’s take all of the opportunities that life throws your way. Stop making excuses for why you can’t achieve something. Stop letting small insignificant problems ruin your day. We’re all just trying to find our way, and it’s not easy, but we have to keep trying. For to give up, is worse than to have failed. At least failure means that you took a chance. At least it means that you chose to live your life, instead of let it pass you by.
I could create an elaborate reason for why I’m writing this post, but that wouldn’t feel right. For this post is spontaneous, and I want you to know that. It was inspired by a photo. A photo that showed me how far I’ve come, and how far I can still go.
So, if you’re struggling right now, I want you to know that things will always get better. I didn’t think they could, but I was wrong. I’m happy and I’m excited for the future. A future filled with happy memories that I am yet to create, and moments that I am yet to experience. A future that is worth living for, even though I didn’t believe in it before.
Until next time keep dreaming x