Updates, Changes and My Jumbled Thoughts

I’ve been wanting to write a post for a while, but inspiration hadn’t quite struck, and quite frankly, being on the final stretch of my degree and wanting to finish (FINALLY FINISH) my book, has left me with little time left to spare. But nevertheless, here I am once again. I could apologise for another impromptu hiatus, or promise to write posts more frequently than once every few months, but that’s not what you come here to read.

So, impending graduation … How does that feel? Terrifying, but oddly, also a relief. It depends on the day really, and having struggled my entire life with the dreaded overthinking gene, I’d rather not think about it too deeply. Some days I’m excited … The world is my oyster and all that. Other days I’m worried about not finding the right oyster,  or finding it without the expected pearl. I guess that’s the problem though. Life is never what we expect. Plans change. People change. The seasons change, or at least they used to, before global warming made it snow in spring.

I’m two paragraphs in, and I think I’ve simultaneously thought of, and lost, the entire point of this post. Maybe the point is that it has no point. A few years ago, when I was describing my blog to someone, I realised that it was a jumbled reflection of myself. Then, at the beginning of this year, when I desperately wanted to re-design it, I realised how much my blog had changed. Everything was planned and edited back in 2014. The monthly favourites posts were on time, the travelling posts came with relevant images, and I had a schedule. Sure, it changed every now and then, but at least there was always a post at 5pm one day of the week. So, when I was reflecting, as so many of us do, I found the answer I didn’t know I was looking for. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to write posts, but somewhere down the line, I just think I started writing the wrong ones. I went from creating optimistic content to being overly personal and raw. People seemed to enjoy reading them, relating to them even, but that wasn’t the blog that I’d set out to create.

The truth is, just as it always was (even if I didn’t know it), I never really had a category in mind. I was 17, the background colour was mint green and I couldn’t believe my luck when the first person clicked that subscribe button, or commented on my post. It was my very own platform, and it didn’t matter that I had exams to revise for, or essays to write, I was just working towards the next academic milestone … university. But then, university came around faster than I’d expected, and time just started to dissolve. I turned eighteen, officially became an adult, albeit an unsure one, and began to think about the dreaded career plan. Now I’m twenty one, registering for my graduation and applying for actual career worthy jobs. I know, I can’t believe it either.

What I’m trying to say is that, just like any dysfunctional twenty something, I don’t know where my life will lead, just as I don’t know where this blog will go. Even so, if I learnt anything from last year, it was that spontaneous plans usually end up being the most worthwhile. So, whether you only like my writing updates, baking posts or travel photos, I hope you’ll stick around to see ‘Coffee Shop Dreams’ evolve into something more than before. It’s an extension of who I am, and naturally, it will never stay the same. Although, with a bit of luck, I hope you will embrace that little, but oh so big, thing called change.

Until next time keep dreaming x

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